Does Kung Fu Training Build Relationships?

Meet Awesome People

In my old website, in one comment, I was asked about the relationships between the students in such a tough environment like Kung Fu school. This is why in this chapter I would like to give my point of view on that topic.

When I came to the school for the first time, I thought my stay here was very challenging. Now, however, after seeing Shaolin Temple and meeting very skillful athletes, I know we have very light training compared to theirs. So I wouldn’t call it now, SO TOUGH ENVIRONMENT.

Still, it is hard for people who have never trained professionally. Probably that hardship, going through pain and tiredness, bounds students together. But, it doesn’t mean that everybody has the same experience. Some find friends for the rest of their lives. Some even the love of their life. Some good friends and some just colleagues.

It’s true, we spend with each other a lot of time. We train together, we eat together and we rest/party together during the weekends. But not everybody with everybody (sometimes though that happens as well). It is like at school, like in a family. Probably you hang out more with the people from your group. But it’s not a rule. As I said, it’s individual.

Relationships In The Kung Fu School From My Perspective

I will tell you how relationships at school look from my perspective. First of all, I met Dani here, and after a few first weeks, we started to be together. It’s been already more than 2 years. Having a boyfriend plus, especially in the second year, not participating in all the classes, training many times by myself or with Dani hindered my contact with others.

For me, this place is more like home, where I am most of the time busy, and from time to time, I hang out with some friends or neighbors. It’s not a holiday or study time anymore. When I first came to the school, I was trying to make friends and learn about everything. Now, I am more reserved, or maybe the better word for that would be focused on other things. When a new student comes, I noticed a pattern:

I have my first impression, and I know – this impression will change sooner or later. It never lasts. After a few days, a new student starts to have friends around, starts to feel comfortable, does not seem stressed out anymore. He/she reveals his/her personality. The strengths and weaknesses of this person come out to the light.

Some are very disciplined and train hard. Some are lazy and find many excuses to rest or go back home sooner than they planned. Some turn out to be a bit crazy and loud. Some bring troubles. Other deal with addictions. Some come with great skills and fitness backgrounds. So, this is the moment when a person leaves their “footprint in my world”. This is how I will remember them.

No Need To Rush A Relationship

Meet Awesome People

Sometimes, I don’t talk to new people at all at the beginning. I know the time will come spontaneously. I don’t need to rush a relationship here. They happen naturally. There are plenty of places, moments when I and others can get to know each other.

Maybe we start to talk on the way to town or a nearby shop, maybe in the evening at the party. Maybe during the training, we exchange the knowledge and skills or decide to do a workout together. Sometimes, during lunch or dinner, there is a space for a conversation.

It’s very interesting how things flow here. There are also random situations, moments that make you very close to one particular person. But that happens rarely.

Also, it’s amazing how the atmosphere in the school changes depending on new students. Some people bring light, laughter, and energy into the school. Some bring troubles. Some parties every night. Some calmness and hard training. Every year it’s different, and that’s what makes it interesting here.

Perfect Environment For A Relationship To Evolve

Meet Awesome People

I think this school is a place where relationships with others have a chance to evolve. Over time we change, the others change, and together with that, the relationships develop.

We cannot hide our weaknesses or weirdness. We get through some awkward, annoying, but also beautiful moments. We get over the difficulties, we grow, and our relationship with other students tightens. We learn how to help and understand each other’s behaviors. I think that’s what makes the relationships here so unique.

I am glad that I met so many awesome and inspiring people here. It’s not only about having a good conversation. It’s about being around you guys, seeing your struggles and your path to improvement, to change, and to a new life.

Shaolin Kung Fu


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