I don’t know why it seems to me that the second year of my Kung Fu training went super fast. Although I had moments, for example, in the summertime, when I was craving a break and the time at school seemed like forever. Now, when it’s over, I am left with the feeling that there are still so many skills to learn and improve.
How come that it seems like I didn’t train much? Maybe because I didn’t learn many forms. I also didn’t reach many of my goals. Most of the time, I was feeling stuck. Slow progress or none. Now, when I think about it, my training during all these months seems unorganized and distracted with many other activities.
Are My Goals Unrealistic?
This year I had many doubts. I was questioning the sense of kung fu training. I am not an athlete who started as a child, and her life is focused only on the training. I am a person who began to train intensively at the age of 28 years old with crazy goals, like learning jumps and flips and being flexible.
I really want to bring this topic here. So I am happy to write about it right now. I am somebody who, when decides something, goes there “no matter what”. But, I also want this “no matter what” to feel healthy. Along this journey, my body was getting exhausted and injured. Learning a cool movement required a lot of patience.
It became very demotivating when other, younger people could learn moves quickly, while I felt stuck. I have the awareness that I won’t reach the level of professionals. But something deep inside me wants to learn at least their basics. Tricks that an average person cannot do. But when I try to do them, it seems very far away from reality.
On the other hand, I need to think about my future and how to provide for myself. This makes me distracted in training. But, again, I am aware that exercise is not and won’t be the main thing in my life. Movement practice is one thing. The other thing is my work. When we start to think about all these dilemmas, the mind gets into the attitude of a failure and gives us thousand of reasons why training hard is not worth the effort.
If That’s What You Want – Just Keep Going
But if we just turn off these thoughts and focus on the present moment. We do as much as we can without killing ourselves, and every day we try to make it better. Just having this kind of attitude makes life meaningful and gives you a lot of energy and happiness.
This is why I kept going, and although, from the perspective of my mind, I didn’t achieve much, when I look at it, there are some things which make this year very successful. Let’s focus on them.